So In Love

I knew when I was in love with Josh. I just knew it. He had gone back to Iraq, I was at lunch with my sisters and I said, "I'm in love." They at the time had no idea that there was even a 'candidate' but they didn't question me, they knew I was serious. And you all know the story from there. Megan on the other hand, when did I know I was so in love with her? Was it the morning when I found out I was pregnant? Was it when I saw her on the ultrasound? The first time I felt her move in my stomach? Or when she was born and I finally got to see her precious little face. I'm not sure but I know I've never not loved her and it seems that I love her more everyday. Everyday she does something new that will make me smile even if it's her first tantrum from not being able to have another cookie (yesterday). Or the way that she wants to be all big and eat a banana the big girl way.


Or when she decides we need to see something or go somewhere with her, she now knows how to take our hand and lead us there. Usually it's to the pantry where she wants to play with a box of rice but it's still ridiculously cute every time.


And then there's the day that you realize that all of those sworn statements about never letting your kid watch Barney (before you have kids) were silly when it dawns on you that she really does like it. Her attention span is definitely growing. I've put her in the recliner and turned something on t.v. to keep her off the floor while I vacuum and she's usually down within a minute or two. Well, yesterday she decided the recliner was too far away so when I was in the other room, she plopped herself in front of the t.v. to get a better look.

She has a mind of her own and it's so fun to see it working and thinking and contemplating what she'll do next.

I think I began loving her when I began loving Josh, they went hand in hand even though she wasn't even a reality yet. Dreaming of a life with him, I dreamed of the family we would once have and I loved her then and I didn't even know it. And now she's here and when I think I can't love her any more, she blows me a kiss and it starts all over again.